Kick Ass Blogger?

It’s all too apparent to me now that this interthing is full of absolute tosh that I place no value on whatsoever. The idea of people passing awards around to each other whenever the urge takes them just diminishes the value of everything if you ask me.

I mean look at this. I’ve been nominated as a Kick Ass Blogger. As if I’m going to put it up here and, like, feel a silly little glow of pride because someone thought of my blog and sent it to me. As if I’m going to visit it when I’m supposed to be doing other things like feeding my children. And check on the traffic too often just to see how many others have genuflected before my obvious wit, charm and wisdom. Damn pride. No sir, you misunderestimate me if you think that I’m going to commit one of the deadliest sins just for that piece of vanity. Or is that two of the deadliest sins? (You see how creeping these things are? You see?)

But I’m not a complete churl, and I do not want to offend others needlessly. So even though I hold it in no esteem whatsoever, I will say a polite thank you to Yankee who passed this ‘award’ on to me and is obviously an erudite, thoughtful and totally hot blogger, despite her weakness for shiny things that I put no value on whatsoever. And I will also follow the rule and give respect to MammaDawg who is Christian and obviously designed this award from a completely Christian perspective of charity and doing unto others etc. Misguided, of course, but sweet.

Ok, so I thanked the giver and mentioned the creator. But beyond that I am not playing the game. I’m not going to push this chainmail on five people who I respect in Blogitania like Sharon who’s far too busy with the signal boxes up there on the Northern Line, or enc who’s almost as stylish as I am myself, or Xbox who is definitely too busy for this kind of tawdriness. I’m not going to pretend to be impressed by K8 the Gr8 so that I can drag her into this and I most definitely, assuredly and with utter certainty am not going to ask Elbog to partake of this nonsense.

No. I’m sorry. These awards are the kind of self-referential and self-reverential dweebism that gives this beautiful interland a bad name and I’m not going to dignify them with any acknowledgement whatsoever. To paraphrase Winnie Mandela Churchill, it’s the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put.

Apologies to my normal readers (ie non-blogfreaks). Normal service will resume shortly.