Two comments


I’ll be dealing with my own bags in the terminal for the rest of my life. Almost everybody else will be doing something similar, I reckon. And then there will be some sad cases that got mixed up somewhere along the line, trundling around, unloved and unwanted. There will be others full of bad secrets and illegal contraband. Most will just have the crisply ironed hopes of a good time ahead or the crumpled memories of one just gone. Either way, whatever the baggage status, everybody’s journey will be just theirs alone, no matter how much we share. Consider the breadth of understanding that exists between the two quotes below.

The first is  from my good friend Elbog, about his daughter Emma, a force of nature (and I do not mean that in the clichéd smashes-trees-and-tears-down-powerlines way) who is showing him himself every day. Nine years of human learning distilled into twenty words of truth. I want to embarrass this man by telling him how wonderful he is, despite his obvious failings (He’s American AND from the West Coast), but I will resist. If you do visit his thought-provoking blog, the perfectly named Bittersweet, please go singly. He’s skittish with crowds. About Emma:

She requires you to deal with who you are; you cannot pretend, pretense means nothing. There is no denial available.

The second arrived two days ago to this blog’s comment box. Just a foolish comment from an idiot. But it’s good to know that we all are different, and while there’s a lot we share, there’s much on this journey that is ours alone. My instinct was to bin it (and I haven’t published the uglier part of it) but what would I learn from that?

Calling a ‘tard a ‘tard is the most harmless insult one can commit, after all, they’re generally so stupid as to be incapable of focusing on the same though for more than a few seconds, so it’s not like they’re even going to remember being insulted 30 seconds down the road.

17 comments on “Two comments

  1. Suzie says:

    I love the first quote. It is so Lily. It is true. The second quote – If I could gather all those people into one room… Yea right, they aren’t worth my time or my visions. Lily and I are moving to a new website on August 1st. Hope you’ll track us down. I’ll keep checking in on you as your posts get my mind moving.

    • Nick McGivney says:

      How could I not check in from time to time on Lily? I gots ta breathe! And she’s always fresh air. It’s always great to hear from you Suzie, and I’ll be checking out the new digs when you get settled in.

  2. TUC says:

    “She requires you to deal with who you are.” So true. Just look at it juxtaposed to the second comment. That person’s words say so much more about himself than the people he is speaking about. And we shall remember what the fool has said about himself for much longer than 30 seconds.

    • Nick McGivney says:

      Hey TUC, nice to hear from you and glad you could drop in. Just scooted over to your place earlier and I think you’ve inspired another post somewhere down the road. I may wait until a certain ex-Governor’s son is ‘cured’ of his ‘suffering’ first though. It’s wrong to snigger at other people’s well intentioned but ultimately wrong-headed beliefs, but I really wanted to jump in to that particular blog and shout an obscenity. Just because. But I didn’t and I’m glad. However, it will be addressed in due course.

  3. Elbog says:

    Oh, that we could all possess the quality to “not remember being insulted 30 seconds down the road.” What a different world this would be.

    • Nick McGivney says:

      Yep. Probably wouldn’t be this world at all. But we can learn to try. We do have that quality.

  4. lisadom says:

    Sorry, just trying to tuck my jaw back up into my head.

    I may have to pay a royalty to sister wolf, but what A FUCKING CUNT!

    as for the first quote which I want to say last as to remember it better
    “She requires you to deal with who you are; you cannot pretend, pretense means nothing. There is no denial available”

    Substitute “she” for they. And pretense is a waste of time. Who I am is shaped by them.


    • Nick McGivney says:

      It does have a certain way of removing the unimportant, doesn’t it? Walk in their shoes, see with their eyes, experience the world as they do, even from a second-hand seat, and you’ll soon learn the meaning of what matters.

  5. Sabrina says:

    Apparently the first thing to be learned from your second quote is that some people still have a desperate need for education about the diversity that makes up humanity.

    Or perhaps they simply need to learn about humanity.

    • Nick McGivney says:

      Thanks for the comment, Sabrina. I’m just getting my head around the fact that it’s all a game of chance. Not to deny anybody their beliefs, but random is as random does and we live with the pieces. Fact is that some will go through life ‘blessed’ with never having to face challenges, or with stupidity enough to never actually see the challenges. The idiot quoted above might never, ever see the mistake in what s/he’s saying. And I’ll have to live my life, to some insignificant degree, but a degree nonetheless, around that failure. But I am thankful to God for the capacity to learn how to do that, and the awareness of it too.

  6. Christine says:

    Well your commenter didn’t waste any time with pretense either. No mistaking what he/she is. Makes me sad that his words might be considered “truth” for some people.

    I’m glad you shared these comments; only by shining a light on the ugliness and ignorance can we hope to change the way others see and speak.

    No, I agree with Ebog, we can’t hide from ourselves. Whether or not that is a good thing, I guess depends on how much you have to deal with when all of the pretense is stripped away.

    Denial has it’s perks 🙂 But being able to look in the mirror, and see yourself for who you are, and liking what you see, isn’t that what we should all hope for, all work for? What a world it would be if we all strove to be better.

    That is what my children, especially John, do. They make me want to be better.

    • Nick McGivney says:

      That’s where all the work starts, Chris. As ancient Greek philosophy had it, ever handy with the pithy phrase, know thyself.

  7. The first quote is quite revealing in the sense of just open vulnerability and strength (gained through trials)

    the second,
    obviously the person is writing from a perspective of selfishness and….Fear

  8. NAN P. says:

    I can’t comment on your quote from Elbog: it just stands on it’s own…

    As for the second quote: ?????? What the F…..? And I am being Very polite!

    To follow that person’s logic, why comment at all if the insult is not going to be remembered? I actually feel sad for him/her, missing so much! We are all richer than him/her, and not with anything money can buy!

  9. Angieb says:

    Regarding the second quote… They say ignorance is bliss but to me it’s just ignorant! And ignorant people are ugly – oh dear, there I go name calling!

  10. Ann Lynch says:

    “You cannot pretend, pretense means nothing” is the perfect answer to the ugly comment left for your blog. What a terrible place that soul must be lurking… I would not like to be looking into his/her mirror!

  11. Jo says:

    Ai me. With regards to the second comment, all I can think is that it takes a stupid insensitive person with a thirty second attention span to know one.

    And aren’t you glad Jacob is your child and not him? That’s some mother’s son, right there. Scary.

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