This blog’s SUPPOSED to be about me…

Seeing as nobody else is doing anything about bringing the glorious minute-by-minute news of me to you, my fashion-starved friends, I’ve once again had to take control of the the entire internet to update you all. The world is in imminent danger of economic ruin and unimaginable collapse, it’s true, so why not check out my big white boots?big-boots-1


Aren’t they cool? And has anyone ever shown a pair of dungarees how they should be worn more successfully than I do? That’s right, they have not.

I admire you for your intelligent and insightful analysis, all of you. I totally dominate the camera. And the catwalk. Not so much catwalk as crawl perhaps, but I wouldn’t be the first supermodel not to be able to hold themselves upright on a given day, would I? Heh heh. Oh listen to me! Who am I to fire cheap shots at a much maligned segment of society? Forgiveness!

And just in case you think I can’t act up with the best Naomi Campbells and Kate Mosses, check me out here after I fell off the bar stool at some after-show party in Kensington last week. (I’m posting it here because that way I have some degree of control over those infernal paparazzi, and because I can trust you good people not to tell everyone else.)

mechanic-1

Ha ha ha hic! Shares in me are on the floor!

Ha! Fooled you. I hadn’t been drinking at all! I was just stress testing the furniture round these parts. Something tells me it’s going to get a lot of testing. And stress. What do you think of my mechanic chic?

Ooh... be two weeks before we get a replacement for this gasket, love
Ooh… be two weeks before we get a replacement for this gasket, love.

Ok, enough of the small talk. I have actually been working too, you know. Apart from now pretty much owning the downstairs and forcing the Big Ones™ to actually sweep/clean the floors every so often, I have also started talking. Whole sentences. (Oh, have to tell you this one. Stubbleyman, in bed a couple of days back, was trying to squeeze those last 15 mins out of the cosy duvet, or comforter, for you up-and-at-em Yanks among my clearly superior and discerning fans. Normally I’d just be awake, wondering if they’d ever feed me again and yakking my stream of consciousness babble, right? But just to throw it out there, I decided to say I wanted to be fed and forthwith if you please, my good man. I think ‘More nam nams‘ was how it came out, or possibly even ‘Mah nam nam‘, but you catch the drift. Man! He was out of the bed like a ricocheting knife off Herself’s week-old lasagne. I think he dislocated his gossip bone in the race down the stairs to tell Herself about the genius they’re slowly realising that they got lucky with. Wish you coulda seen it. Oh yes, I have finally discovered the secret of the guilt trip, and by golly I’ll be exploiting it.)

I’ve also seen fit to let them know that I am fully aware of where their noses are. Well if they’re silly enough to ask, it would be rude of me not to answer by honking good and hard on said proboscis, no? I’m just about beginning to do the hug thing too, but I’m not sure they’re ready for it yet. Whaddya say, Elbog?

They’re also starting to annoy me with flash cards and repeating words over and over again. What a pain. If I say ‘Ball’ back to them do you think it’ll make them go away? Or will they just harrass me more? What should I do, gentle readers?

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20 comments on “This blog’s SUPPOSED to be about me…

  1. Monica says:

    Jacob you are a doll!!!! I think I might be falling in love~

  2. Miriam says:

    Best thing to do with flash cards is chew on them!

  3. Mel says:

    Way to go Jacob. Great to see you becoming quite the fashion plate.

    As for the flash cards- keep them guessing I say. The odd near word now and then will keep them hanging on your every utterance. Gotta love attention 🙂

    Luke says hi- he’s had a big day at the Champion Centre. He’s been getting them acquainted with his anti-sitting philosophy. Apparently the commando crawler extraordinaire has all the muscles etc to sit if he wanted to, but he has bigger fish to fry!

    Keep those parents on their toes, and request more frequent updates please.

    And tell your father he has jinxed my weather- has rained for weeks since his smart-alec comment about my weather woman status!

  4. Nan P says:

    So glad you finally got time in your very busy schedule to update us all on your day-to-day life, Jacob. Parents, like paparazzi, can be SO annoying, but you kinda need them, right? You know, to keep your profile up and out there…?

    Remember, they are there to serve YOU, to do your bidding, but they need encouragement, like the odd progress show-off every now and again.

    In any case, I am in your Fan Club!

  5. Viv says:

    Whay-hair did you get those boots sveetie – they are deeevine!

  6. Adam's Mama says:

    Wouldn’t mind a night on the tiles with Jacob 🙂

  7. Christine says:

    Jacob–next time your old dad pulls out a flash card of a ball–don’t say “ball”, say “flash card”–that might get him to leave you alone. Oh and if they ask, “ears” are those funny looking things on the side of their head. You sure are growing up fast and are cuter than ever!

  8. Cal says:

    Jacob! Way to keep the Big Ones on their toes–albeit, on their much less stylish toes (at least when compared to your new duds). You know, I was thinking that you would probably like my kitty cat very very much. She is pretty much a walking stuffed animal–she would let you hold her like a teddy bear when you sleep and she is so gentle that she even lets the 2 year old little girl next door stick fingers in her mouth without even meowing. Anyway, I just think you guys would be good friends. Jump across that little pond and come visit, k? Keep posting pictures! It is great to see you again.

  9. Elbog says:

    Duude, you are an ANIMAL! Sure, gravity will take you to the floor, occasionally, but *under* the barstool? Better than Robin Williams in his old white powdered fog. Brilliant way to work the room, dahling.
    What your personal assistants lack in follow-through, they make up for on the fashionista front (you must be directing their every move). Keep workin’ it for all it’s worth. Makes up for those unfortunate, awkward moments when you’ve, er, processed the biscotti, if I might be so bold. Love the hair.
    I’d ignore the flash cards, for the most part – they mean well, and there’ll be times when it’ll be fun, trust me. What you need to do is occasionally throw them a bone to keep them interested; else they’ll start carting you off to the white coats, and who needs more of that?
    Nobody does a better job of keepin it real, Jacob-duude. You da MAN!

  10. Emma Mc Ivor says:

    hey mister could you give my henry a kick up the bum he s a lazy one when it comes to the talking cheers emma

  11. kayla says:

    Jacob, you are so truly adorable. Such a little blessing. You are so strong and brave. I wish nothing but the best for you. Keep your dad walking a straight line. ! I love the pictures especially the one of him under the chair that is so cute. Reminds me of our Lucian!Ant the picture of him at the very top so adorable. I just want to pinch his cheeks and give him kisses!

  12. Yay Jacob! Way to go! Milk it all you can, I say.
    You are most definitely the Master of the House …….. and those white boots are “deadly” as my guy wpould say!!

    Well done Jacob….you keep ’em in line!

  13. hammiesays says:

    Oh Jacob! Lurve the J-suit darling but white boots? Soooooo 2008!
    xx

  14. Jill says:

    Psst Jacob, just sneaked on here whilst mum’s not looking.

    On the Flashcards, my recommendation is to learn the three base fundamentals for life – biscuits, chocolate, drink. All the rest are just background noise mate.

    For added effect, I find that the last one works best if shouted in a resounding ‘Father Jack’ voice. Gets my housekeepers trotting over with speedy service.

    Gotta keep em on their toes, or they get lax. Love Nath.

  15. Cal says:

    Oh man…I just stopped in again and that first picture slayed me the second I saw it. Be still my heart!

  16. That first picture is gorgeous, but the second one is hilarious.

    Flash cards? I say bring them down on the bridge of their noses!

  17. enc says:

    Nick, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that stool has pinned Jacob down and is tickling him!

  18. haha!!

    grammar corrections are invited….

    Brící agus moirtéal – sin teach, ach gáire páistí – sin é baile
    “bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children make a home.”

  19. Nick McGivney says:

    Monica: A woman with taste and refinement, obviously!

    Miriam: I couldn’t agree more!

    Luke’s Mum: I hope the weather’s picking up, and everyone’s settling into the lovely new abode. Looks peachy. x Jacob 🙂

    Nan P: Jacob says to say you are among his absolutely top top list of readers with taste and vision.

    Viv: Delightful to have you drop by! The boots are available for photo shoots, as long as accompanying man is inside them!

    Adam’s Mama: It’s ladies’ choice. You asking? (And I know my way around the tiles!)

    Chris: Interruption by Dad – I’m not going to pass your advice on to Jacob, (he doesn’t moderate the comments, I do) because something tells me you’re getting a dig in at his dad 🙂

    Cal: Jacob here. Hiya! You, kitty and I must absolutely meet, if I can manage to lose the parents! Are you ever around the Kildare or Wicklow side of the world? We could do the Botanic Gardens or something!

    Elbog! Despite what the old man says, I can tell you’re a smart guy. We’ll knock back a few yet.

    Emma: We obviously think alike!

    Kayla: Lucian is a major dude and he’s a cool mover his own self!

    Val: Thanks for noticing. I’m up for the main role in Saturday Night Fever: the remake!

    Hammie: Don’t dis the boots. Do NOT dis the boots!

    Nathan; First bit of peer-to-peer advice I’ve had around here. Much appreciated buddy!

    Cal: So, erm, you… eh… you seeing anyone?

    XBox! My Man! The dad’s always banging on about you. Good to converse. Hope you’re, y’know, rolling with it all…

    enc: The Grey One has been summarily dismissed from this post. For a gal who likes J-suits I thought you’d be pleased to be talking to the J-meister!

    HGF: Fáilte cinnte! Go h-álainn tú a fheicéal. And Dad says that pic of you two over at Peajay’s is hilarious! Babies on tour (but two gorgeous babies!)

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    Jacob, if only I were 54 years younger!

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