The battlefield of love

I came across this website post this morning.*

This kind of stuff doesn’t usually get under my skin, but today, Whammo! I have written my reply to the blogger, but as it awaits moderation it may never see daylight on that particular blog. Here, however, it will. But first I’ll quote the offending post in its entirety:

More babies being born with Down’s syndrome

This curious phenomenon suggests the following of British society:-

1. Increasing numbers of couples view the having children as similar to having pets. (We expect nothing of our pets except their ability to be obedient, grateful, forever dependent and never leave us. Pets, you see, have no use except to gratify the ego of the pet-owner and to stave off feelings of loneliness and uselessness that we all might have from time to time.)

2. These parents expect very little from their children, because they appear to have the luxury of being able to treat their children as pets.

3. The waste and purposelessness of such an unrewarding venture – that of bringing up a child who will never achieve full independence and who will always be a source of worry, particularly if they do not predecease their parents – is not being questioned enough by parents, because of the cushion of a welfare state.

4. More mothers are having children later and later.

5. The greater willingness of parents now prepared to bring up children with Down’s Syndrome is indicative of the unwisdom of indiscriminate compassion that now pervades British society. This may be due to the fact that we now live in a society that is morbidly over-feminised.

6. A society that unquestioningly encourages the unproductive at the expense of the productive in the name of compassion will find itself burdened with the unproductive and unable to compete with societies unburdened by such policies.

7. Insanity is but fundamental error compounded by persistent irrationality.

8. Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad.

“It is like watching a nation busily engaged in heaping up its own funeral pyre.”


To all of which I replied thus:

The very second that I cannot hold my one year old son, who has Down syndrome, in my arms without pondering whether I am hindering society’s ability to ‘progress’ will be the same second that I get in touch with you to say you are right. In the meantime, I will allow my heart to swell with this illogical and irrational love and gratitude for all the things that he has revealed to me in his short while here on Earth.

I will not question where the burden lies heaviest: I and my family and friends will shoulder it.

I will not consider my son to be a pet. He will take his place as my third child and I will expect the usual range of difficult behaviour. The idea of abandoning him or dropping him off at the pound will not arise.

‘The waste and purposelessness’ of my son Jacob’s life – he is called Jacob – has heretofore not been revealed to me. What has been, quite graphically in the last twelve months, is that I myself will never achieve ‘full independence’ whatever that may mean, and I will always rely on some sort of welfare state just to avoid having to live in a cave and trap rabbits. Or did you have a narrower view of what independence actually is?

More mothers may be having children later, but the vast majority of babies with Down syndrome are conceived by young women under thirty. Find the statistics.

I cannot possibly say whether a ‘morbidly over-feminised’ society is a good thing or not. If it is you’ll probably have to get rid of all the women next. But I can vouchsafe for the fact that I myself am a man, think as one, act as one and regularly get into trouble as one. And I don’t exfoliate either.

As for your points 7 and 8, they don’t really seem to form part of your argument so much as give the appearance of a witty way to end a poorly constructed stack of nonsense.

If you are going to approach a subject of such emotive power as the right for people who have a chromosomal difference to exist, it is a noble idea to invest your strongly held opinion with first-hand experience. Go meet some downsies. Get to know them. And possibly when you’re at it meet a few blind people. They’ve been holding us back for ages too. The autistic ones are no better. And cancer sufferers are an insane drain on society as a whole. Idea: burn the hospitals altogether, and the clinics, and shut down any factories that make wheelchairs or crutches or other such resource-squandering gimmicks. Let the bastards with heart issues die off. The car-crash victims probably did it to themselves, so just pull the plug now and cut down on the greenhouse gas. Double win!!

And when they’re all conveniently out of the way we’ll sit down, you, me and Dr Mengele, and we’ll really have it all to ourselves. Because there won’t be anyone else left.

* Thanks to Miriam Kauk for posting this and bringing it to my attention.

27 comments on “The battlefield of love

  1. Jo says:

    Fuck. What a post. Can it really be for real, not some sort of Modest Proposal?

    Anyway, your response is masterful. Impressive.

  2. I have to commend you on your controlled response.

    You are a better man than I sir.

  3. Mel says:

    Thank you Nick. I have replied too but suspect I am wasting my time. Shame there’s not an antenatal test for arseholes!

  4. Sesame says:

    Let me at him! Your pen writes well Nick…good on you

  5. NAN P. says:

    I am so shocked I do not know what to do with this. Should I go to the site and voice my reaction, too? As Mel has commented, it’s probably a waste of time. And you have expressed so eloquently the way I feel I could not do any better. Yet it might be worth a shot, just to tell this person what a moron he is!

    As I was reading the post I too had the vision of the WWII concentration camps flashing before me. Very unsettling…

    The thing is (and I am not trying to defend the author of this appalling writing) ignorance breeds fear, and fear can breed extremist views, followed sometimes by extremist actions.

    Good answer Nick, very good answer.

  6. Sharon says:

    AH Nick, the views of the ignorant yet mouthy! The question we ask is whether it’s worth our time to tackle their words. I think that when we can, we should. It’s unlikely that they will change their minds, but if we find what they’ve written, other people might find it too and it’s good to present the alternative viewpoint to those people.

    Your response rocks.

  7. Elbog says:

    I wrote a reply (here) that didn’t make it, and lack the will to re-create it all. It was, of course, brilliant.
    To comment on this person would be a waste of my energy. That a human being would be regarded as a pet pretty much sums up the level of credibility that they deserve for the rest of their commentary.
    My first thought, this being the Season and all, was “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”
    “Indiscriminate compassion”, indeed.

  8. Nick McGivney says:

    Cathal’s Mam – thanks for the encouragement. I was angry, I can tell you.

    Jo the Mama – thanks also. It’s real alright. There’s loads more self-appointed twaddle on the site if you have the desire to self-flagellate. I did, but only to sharpen my aim.

    XB – cheers for that, hope you guys are going good guns…

    Mel – thanks for stopping by to comment. In a room full of arses, this one would stand out. And not for any good reasons.

    Sesame – go for it girl. Funnily enough, I thought the writer was a female. Irrelevant either way. Same cack.

    Nan P – I’d go along and drop my reply on them anyway. I think they’ll be quite surprised at how many people strongly disagree with them. They patently do not have a clue.

    Sharon – thanks and yes, of course you are right. You couldn’t possibly keep it up all the time, but when someone pseudo-intellectualises the thing then it demands a swift kicking imo. This one just happened to catch me at a hungover moment. Oh dear. Hell with them.

    Elbog – I’m sure it was brilliant, and I appreciate your saying it. My meagre cell lacks enough such baubles. And as for this fool over whom we talk, I feel like a killer whale tossing a seal about. Indiscriminately, but of course compassionately.

  9. Jo says:

    I see there’s only one comment up, and it’s an essay – and also why you assumed it was a girl’s blog, alright!

    Oh dear, same as mine…

  10. downsdad says:

    Oh so very NOT the same as yours, Jo. 🙂

  11. hammie says:

    well, I personally wouldnt want to give s/he the blog hits either way. I often wonder where people get the balls to comment on a situation of which they have no experience. If trying to make and then rear children teaches us anything is that we cannot possibly judge another parent’s version of coping. No matter how erudite and theoretical the professional arguer thinks they are, they simply do not have the first idea of how they would act in a similar situation.

    Now I would love to say all that to Andromeda, but I think if I met them in a pub and heard them pontificating in such a way; I would just kick them. Hard. Stupid Fecking C—.

    Love the dog picture by the way Nick. I get a good little he he hehe giggle out of pets in clothes.

  12. downsdad says:

    Cheers Hammie! I don’t actually mind directing traffic towards this particular clown. I have a feeling that a little refreshing truth will do some revelatory work. But on the other hand, it might be like sending a bat’s shit into a cavern. Who can tell?

  13. Jo says:

    Hee hee hee, metaphor of the week.

  14. K8 says:

    Pets?! That’s a bizarre interpretation. I’m seeing a lot of big words here, but nothing connecting them! Disability has been out of the attic (thank God) for what – 40 years now? Now we have someone shouting to get it put away again… that’s all I really got from this whole thing. That can’t be right, though, can it? Unreal.

  15. Nick McGivney says:

    You know, K8, there’s a whole nother perspective on Downs in most other western nations. A woman on Down Syndrome Ireland commented how a friend of hers from Scotland remarked on the high visibility of people with Downs here. Forgetting for just a wonderful and sad second, she asked what was so different about Scotland, our familiar. ‘Termination,’ her friend succinctly explained.
    Love them or loathe them, I believe you have to give the Catholic church some credit for shaping our culture in this aspect. But that’s another post.

  16. kayla says:

    I agree with your comment. No one could put it better. People in this world have no idea what a blessing it has to have a child with down syndrome. They are no different than any other person. We all have red blood, we all cry wet tears and we all came from parents. No one ask to be here we just are. That is how it is.

  17. kayla says:


  18. Cal says:

    Lovely job with the emotional but well thought out post. It is quite obvious you took the time to take a deep breath before diving into responding. I love that you added some humor, too…I am still cracking up about the line that reads:
    “But I can vouchsafe for the fact that I myself am a man, think as one, act as one and regularly get into trouble as one. And I don’t exfoliate either.”
    So great!

  19. downsdad says:

    Kayla – you nailed it, and thank you for noticing how perfect little Jacob is! If only his parents were half as good!

    Cal – thank you too. You just have to laugh or else, God forbid, you might just pay serious attention to the crap that’s out there.

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    How do people become such fucking morons?? That’s the mystery. I’m going there now to find out. xo

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Ohhhhh, I get it. She’s just a screwed up idiot. (I left her a ‘nice’ comment)

  22. downsdad says:

    In deference to Andromeda, Sister, she does say in reply to your comment exactly what her issue is: she has ‘a problem with the mentally handicapped’.

    And with that I pack my bag, fold my tent and brush off the dust from that particularly ill-informed place. If only she’d said that at the start then I could’ve ignored her completely. We live and learn. (But at least we live.)

  23. Hi Nick,

    How appaling. Was getting madder and madder reading that. I mean kids…. pets….accessories??? Your reply was fantastic and extremely well put. Can’t even bear to go to the blog and read it. I have to say, like NanP, the first thing that came to my mind was the Nazis. What does he want….to create a Master Race??? People like him are dangerous individuals.

  24. Christine says:

    Sister Wolf basically captured what I was thinking.

    Great post. We’re all lucky your on our side, which just happens to be the right side.

  25. Nick McGivney says:

    Val: An idiot with eugenics in the blood. Utter clown.

    Christine: Thank you, and I could say the same thing myself.

    Iheartfashion: delighted you stopped by, and thank you for taking the time. It was a long rant, preceded by a stack of drivel.

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